Tuesday, May 28, 2013

TR SNIPPET QUAD HUMOR

I find great humor in the Linq and Quad renovation. I imagine the conversation went like this.




“Hey Tommy, let's give this downscale joint a new look and a new image. While we are replacing that damned O’Shea’s with a Ferris wheel and some upscale shops and restaurants, let’s dress up the entrance of the Imperial Palace so people want to walk through the doors”

“Marty, Marty, how many times I gotta tell ya. It ain’t no Ferris Wheel; its an “observation” wheel fer Crist’s sake.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…. I know. Shall we make any other improvements in the Imperial Palace?”

“Yeah, we gotta change the name to something that has no associations with anything meaningful. No one wants to stay at a palace anymore. That’s old hat. Names like the Stardust and Sahara that held some sort of meaning are all being replaced with capital letters that reflect nothing meaningful at all.”

“Well how about just calling it the IP”

“No that just maintains the old. Besides, it seems to suggest the elimination of body fluids and not in no pleasant way, if you get my drift.”

“Well, how about naming it for the vast army of hookers that patrol the streets at 4AM? Did you see them this morning in the long construction tunnel? I counted almost 20. And right in that pedestrian bottle neck they got good access to Johns. Nowhere for the guys to go.”

“Damn Marty, ya just don’t have no class. Ferris Wheel!! Hookers!! Get an upscale life, will ya. Actually, I been talkin’ to Charley and I think we should go with his idea. Call it the Quad. “

“Aaa.. because there are four of something?”

“No, Marty. Yer thinkin’ too much again. Because the Q is a cute attractive letter, ya dumb cluck. Look at how much people loved that Q in the Linq Project. It’s an abstirract sorta thing, ya know, artistic.”

“Okay, so in the new Quad, first we should tackle the problem of shabby rooms, the long twisted paths to find them, and four hour check in lines.”

“No, Charlie, those are there to push CET card holders (see how cute those letters are; we don’t have to say Harrah’s no more) into booking the more expensive strip properties. The regulars figure it out. The rest are just young college kids with no dough and armies of Asian visitors who book some inexpensive trip plan and that one cheap old guy with the Leprechaun beard. Who gives a darn about ‘em?........

No, we’ll keep the lines and the poor housekeeping and that maze of rooms with confusing numbers that duplicate on the same floor. But let’s add a new entrance, so we can get the passing tourists in more easily, something catchy that can help obscure the poor gambling odds and pay tables the way the Dealertainers took folks minds off 3/2 math.”

“Say…maybe we should improve by puttin' in some good gambling, some single zero roulette or full pay VP or 3/2 Blackjack?”

“Are you out of yer freakin’ mind! How do we pay for the Greek pillars then? You’re a moron, Charlie, no one actually comes to a place for good gambling odds. Those single zero wheels at the Stratosphere and the Riviera stayed empty while the gamblers crowded the nearby double zero. And if good VP attracted anyone, that new bank of 10/6 Double Double Bonus, 10/7 Double Bonus, and 9/6/90 JOB would pack folks into the Eastside Cannery. The truth is, even the locals would rather play their “lucky” or “loose” favorite machines that pay when they make the magical hand pass over the screen and think the right prayer. Who knows from pay tables?”

“yeah....I guess.....Say, what’s a 9/6/90 JOB anyway?”

“Exactly, see what I mean, Marty. And you been workin’ here for 40 years. But I bet ya know what a Q is, right?

“Right, I got that. Cute letter.”

“Good, good and and it's about time too...............….now work on the term “Observation Wheel” will ya, this "Ferris Wheel" talk is gonna cost us our jobs.”

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