I knew that it was a mistake to book a show on my arrival night, but in all these years of flying Southwest had not had a delay in this nonstop to Vegas.
So this was the first time.
We were at least an hour delayed and that meant to use my Seven Wright tickets (nice aisle seats just about thirteen rows back) I had at touchdown just an hour and fifteen minutes.
I was lucky. Southwest now has the first carousal at the bottom of the escalator, my bags came a minute after I arrived. The shuttle left three minutes after I boarded and while I was last after five other stops, the driver hopped in quick and got us out. The check in line was fast. I actually took my luggage to my room and made the box office to pick up my tickets with fifteen minutes to spare. This was a good thing as I needed time to tuck in my shirt.
A local sat next to me and we talked awhile. She is one of the few who like having moved to Vegas ten years ago. She made a killing in real estate and go out just before the recession. She was cheerful and very friendly. She gave me her ticket stubs, so I had three free drinks to welcome me to Vegas and celebrate the great time victory. Amaretto.
Wright was his usual self mixing old material I had heard with new material. He was a bit more engaged with the audience, not totally in that mindless stare, but still very, very funny. He used the repetition of "What the hell are you doing?" and "The teacher (cop, etc) started to cry" to draw attention to the bizarre reality bends that make him so funny. I don't laugh much out loud, but the theater did.
He sang a few songs, including the one about the young boy who plots to kill the cat.
He put some of his jokes in his father's or more often his grandfather's voice"
"One year for Christmas my grandfather gave me a box of ground glass and he gave me brother a box of bandaides.
' Okay, "he said, " I want both of you to share.'
"One time my grandmother handed me five dollars and said, ' Don't tell your mother I am giving this to you.'
" I told her, ' It will cost you more than that."
He told many jokes about being stopped by a policeman:
"Once my buddy and I had the cruise control set at 100...we were both in the back seat. The policeman didn't know what to do because no one was driving."
He had a whole list of answers for, "give me you license and registration."
For, "Why were you driving so fast," he said, "Because I had my foot pressed to the floor and completely explained how a car worked."
For, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth.." he answered with, "Yes, you sure are ugly, and there is a woman in the jury I'd like to bang," and then " do you want me to just continue or are there questions?"
There were fewer sign jokes. In one he said, " I was passing a gas station and saw two signs, one said "Help wanted" and the other " Self Service" After a laugh, he said he had gone in the station and hired himself, made himself the boss, helped himself to the cash register and then quit for the day.
He wished his first word had been "quote" so his last word could be "unquote."
He said he often went to waiting rooms just to wait.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"No, I'm just waiting."
"Would you like to see the doctor."
"what kind of doctor is he?"
"A foot doctor."
"I'd like to see a doctor that tall."
The doctor comes out and he really is 12 inches high.
Here are some others I remember:
"I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child."
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. "
"What's another word for Thesaurus? "
So much of this reminds me of old humorists. Gracie Allen comes to mind. I love twisted logic, puns, anything interpreted in some literal or ambiguitous manner so that the meaning creeps up on us.
He told the story of getting a letter from his girlfriend and finding it so beautifully written, that he crossed out her name, wrote his, and mailed it back to her.
He never heard from her again.
"I guess she didn't really like what she wrote."
I like the layered joke patterns as well, the laugh that catches you in the middle of the last laugh.
He told my favorite of the old woman who asks if he can speak French, but I thought the timing was off this time. I may write him.
Of course, by the time it was over, even with my attempts at resting all day, I was very tired. The show started at 8 and that was 11 Albany time. I knew I could not play live poker, so I just walked around and watched the people, drank my three free Amarettas and then decided to play some video poker. I like double bonus and while they eliminated most of their decent offerings, there is a nickle progressive that is 9/7 and is triple play. I like it.
It liked me too. My first twenty went all the way up to sixty before I played it down to nothing. My second twenty went up to eighty before it was time to top off the three amarettos and the two rusty nails with a $3.99 graveyard steak and eggs special.
Then I went to bed, but I was awake a bit after seven.
I think I'll check out the workout room and get my $5 resort fee value. With the free rooms came a $10 food credit so in one sense I already got that back, but I used to like the bikes and sauna and free oranges for breakfast and I sure do need to do something to work off all the calories of the alcohol.
Day 2
Tough day. Down over $500, some of it no limit and some of it Megabucks which seemed to catch my attention more than it usually does. This is not a good way to start 16 days. I'll have to slow down.
I am posting from Seattle's Best Coffee where the Orleans now offers free wifi. It was easy early in the morning, but seemed to start to fill up as the morning progressed.
Yesterday I took the Tropicana bus down to the MGM and played a few hours of no limit. I felt comfortable, but I lost $419. I had most of it back when two hands took out the rest. This continues to be a hard game for me.
Contrasted was the 2-4 at Excalibur. They did not have the old spread limit game. It was really great when I joined and up until two tables combined and better players were concentrated. I expected around midnight to find poorer players and instead found that the passive callers were replaces by some tricky players. I lost two hands, both to high card straights. In the second I had the straight to the queen and the fellow held queen-king. I was happy to leave up $109. I do really thinl this is my game here. It is a lot of grinding, but with enough callers I can take money away and whatever I won't lose much. I drank a few Myer's rums and had some conversation, but it was not as festive as I expect I'll find at Flamingo and LV Blvd. Overall, I was not impressed with this corner for poker so I am not sad to be leaving it.
One player at the Excalibur carried with him a wonderful cushion that was decorated with gambling bits and fit on the chair to cushion both his seat and the back of the chair. It looked wonderful. He bought it at bingo.com.
When I got back late I should have eaten the graveyard and instead decided to put $20 in the Megabucks. It was a huge mistake as I just got caught up in it thinking I might break even and ended $240 down, a record for my Megabucks play. Stupid too because today, in the morning, as a senior I can get 5X points here at 8 am and I should have waited to drop that kind of money. I earned over 800 points and that would have been nice to be multiplied times five.
I played two matchplays on craps, basically breaking even by winning the $5 one that came with the room.
Nice room. This was a good deal that way. Perhaps with the Megabucks losses I'll get invited back as well.
I made a mistake on walking East on Tropicana to catch the bus. I thought that the stop could not be too far, but it was and not as comfortable as it would have been right in front of NYNY. One character told me his life story. One guy was walking and reading a book and bumming change. Another guy who works at the MGM said the new bus schedule has not helped him. The Tropicana now runs only once an hour late at night and there are two, the A and the B, only one of which goes far enough for him.
But the bus finally came and it drops in a fine spot right at the Orleans just two steps from the parking lot.
I learned that the lunch offerings start early, at about ten thirty, so I can pay the breakfast price and have a bit of fruit and then the salad bar will open up for my dessert. The offerings were tasty, but I am easy to please and not looking for gourmet, just fruit and salad and a taste of the other things. I do love it that they have Cholua hot sauce here and not that damned Tabasco that is the pepper of choice in most places at home. I am going to start carrying my own Louisiana hot sauce and avoid that distinctive and unsatisfying unique taste of the Tabasco.
Stash goi berry tea starts my day. I'll be out soon. I should have brought two boxes, but I am not used to having a coffee maker. Happily I brought a cup as well, so it is comfortable having morning tea.
I left my computer wire at the Orleans when I checked out, so I went back on the shuttle. As long as I was there, I decided to play some more of the nickle three play video poker. I lost $200. However, it does not feel like the loss at the Megabucks. The conditions were right for playing:
My senior day points were multiplied to 5X
I could also be in the free drawing for free slot play
The progressives were high, one was up to over $500 so it was the time to push for a royal
Even with the three play, each pull was just 75 cents.
I also was able to use my coupon and get the Oyster chowder Big Al's. The place was a mad house, but I sat at the counter and the chowder was just as rich and wonderful as I remember. The bread too was very good and the blend of the two flavors made a fine supper meal. It is so funny that this increased my food cost by 150% and all I had was a bowl of soup and not the huge buffets. Odd too that the Spice Market buffet will be about the same price as this one bowl of soup with the coupons I printed.
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