Thursday, January 03, 2013

Buffet line strategies

I have low tolerance for lines, but sometimes I will wait in them. I waited in the Caesar's buffet line before it became the newest wonder of the buffet world because the all day line pass was free to Veterans on Veterans day. There had been no line at Paris for breakfast where I showed up super early and arranged for the pass with my DD214. But I wanted to try Caesar's, as I had never been there. 
It is all changed now, renovated into a fancy new "in" eatery and getting about fifty bucks for supper.  I guess I won't be going.
I remember well the family just behind me on that day in November, a middle aged black woman and her three grown sons, all from Alabama. It was great! With a few compliments on her fine sons, and comments on how fine it must be to be traveling with all her children, (some were in the military and she rarely saw them) I managed to lead them into discussing how it was to grow up together and how much sibling rivalry. The banter then began and the animated stories showing how "Mom always loved you best...like the time when.." never ended. As well as entertaining personal stories I also got a fine look at what it was like to grow up in Alabama. I got lucky that day. I could have doubled my line time.
Well, here is my list of strategies:

*  Apparently in large groups there is a possibility of reservations.  I'll check it out if I ever am in Vegas with a large group.
* Skip the buffet and make a reservation at a restaurant.
* Playing poker in some places will allow us to score a line pass. We can then walk into the buffet in the VIP line with those people who have earned the appropriate gem color of cards reserved for royalty in that particular casino. I did this years ago at Cravings, but I don't know if it still holds. The Golden Nugget after 4 hours of play, gives a line pass. The comp and pass can be taken late at night for the next day by asking for the date to be one day later.
* Some, (not CET I think) all day eating passes come with line privileges. Orleans is one. There for $24 a day we can just walk in anytime without anyone ahead of us other than a few in the VIP line and just show a rubber bracelet at we pass the cashier.
*Gamble enough to get one of those royalty cards in better gem colors than the low roller cards I carry.
* Ellis Island best strategy is to eat the steak special at 2 AM. Another is not to disappear, but just hover as they will put you ahead of the established numbers sometimes. A third is to take someone who is over 90. I went once with such a guest in the party. We drew attention to that by asking for a seat so she could "rest" while waiting even though she had her sneakers and had exhausted us walking everywhere on every day of the trip. In reality, I was the one who needed a rest. They seated us quickly at a table. Finally, go with the intention of playing video poker for a while and take a number.That is why Ellis Island has a line at the cafe, to capture a few more coins.
* Go to Vegas in August or early December. When there are fewer people, there are fewer lines.
* Search out buffets off the strip. I rarely find a line at Terribles.I suspect that the Station Casinos, as well as being very cheap, rarely have lines. I'm going out to them more this next trip.
* Go to the buffet at times when lines are much less. Weekdays are better than weekend days, hours between standard meals are better than routine times. I do this best at Foxwoods in Connecticutt where I have a free buffet pass with my bus ride. I have kept track of the best times to use it and I wait to go at that time. About 1:30 seems to work. Spice Market works that way too. Going just as the supper price will be imposed costs more, but will skip lines. Going to breakfast before they open will put you up front in most buffets and the time to wait is much less than once the place opens.
* Sit at the counter. This works well at the California Market Street Cafe and I once did it with 6 people. We cut a 30-45 minute wait just by going up and asking permission to eat at the counter. Solo it is very easy. My wife and I do it all the time. We saved 20 minutes here at our local Grannies breakfast place just last week where the line went out into the parking lot.  At Grannies we just hovered inside the diner until one of the counter eaters was leaving so two seats were in a row and then we asked if we could take those seats. Be ready to move immediately when you ask for a counter seat before the folks ahead of you realize that they missed the opportunity.

"Oh, would you have liked to have sat at the counter had it been offered? Well, it ain't ever gonna be offered, and since you could not think outside the box, Sparky, we rake in this pot. Just suck it up and stand in line. "

I used to do it at El Cortez and Golden Gate but I don't think there are counters there anymore. I did it at Cravings in the Mirage, but again a long while ago. I think it is a great solo strategy because it is entertaining as well as line breaking and you get great service because the waitress is right there all the time in front of you filling up your coffee cup and bringing the better hot sauce. I do it at the eatery at the Gold Spike although there is no line. I get better service.
* Line frustration can be aleviated by engaging folks around you in conversation. Just make some easy joke and then follow it with opening questions like, "Are we winning?" and before long you can collect some fine stories by asking the kind of questions folks ask here on the board to get conversation going, like the one that started this thread. In fact, just skim down the list of opening questions here on the board offered by bored folks who are at home "waiting in line" to get to travel to Vegas. Note the ones of interest, and use them in your next line.
Avoid politics and religion, although I have had great conversations on those topics as long as I remember to interview and not give any opinion unless asked and then just give it without any supportive argument.
(Believe me, you won't be asked! Or if you are you won't be asked to explain why you feel that way unless you are in line with me. Everyone who will talk about religion knows God personally and has a perfect sense of God's plan for the country and their insight is the only true insight. Also everyone knows exactly what Congress or the President should do about everything, and it always is something they are not doing, and it is always something very simple.)
And if anyone is Lutheran, I always ask about Prarie Home Companion as I love that show.
I recommend not saying or asking anything about health as those long descriptions of every operation or malady are deadly in a buffet line unless you like hearing effects of anesthetic on bowel movements just before you sit down to a bowl of chili. Sometimes it seems old people have nothing else to talk about except their operations, the operations of their friends, their medicine... well you get the idea.
But if you do get caught, ask about the far past. Old people were young once and they can remember that. Sports is great for men. Every man knows exactly how sports teams should be managed.
Since I don't like sports much, talking recipes works for me.
*Ask locals where there is a place to eat without lines and ask tourists where they get the bet food in their hometowns.
* At Disney, with kids. the lines were incredible. We developed an entire group of line games and that worked perfectly. In one game, each person offers a letter and the letters in that order must spell a word in their mind. The person who has to admit they can no longer come up with a word loses that round providing the person before them actually had a word in mind and spelled it correctly. The person who manages to finish a word gets an extra point. Bring a pocket full of dollars to substitute for points and the game can get really interesting. Collected money can be used to pay for the buffet or divided up evenly among the players when the game ends.
* Of course, the modern solution is just to bring a smart phone and move mentally out of the line and into the world of angry birds or email insults, or additions to this thread, or having conversations with long distance friends. In college I always brought a pocket paperback for the registration lines.
*In Vegas I often bring the American Casino Guide as dining reading, skimming possible coupon destination or reading about casinos in other parts of the county where I might have actually won money, and this will be interesting to most people in line. Just open the book and point to one casino and ask, "Would you go here?" and they will soon want to see the book. They will then share their sources of coupons. If they rant about how ridiculous coupons are, just excuse yourself and get into another place in line. It is a proven fact that folks who treat coupons with distain are apt to be latent mass murders.
* Nap. Yes, it is possible to sleep while standing up.
* Draw straws and have one of your party do the line standing. Maybe s/he eats for free for the service. Maybe it is just the default prize for being the first to run through the day's bankroll. In some places the line standing person can pay for people who are not there, get a seat, and late comers can just join later by coming in the exit. So, one good strategy is always come late. Tell the seating waitress that there are two more in your party but they had to go to the bathroom.Then call them and tell them that the table is ready, reminding them that they will be the ones expected to leave the tips.

 

No comments: